tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
