no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
