see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize