We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
