Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
