between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
