Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize