Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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