So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My dick has a subreddit
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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