I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
