i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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