so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
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Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
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