You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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