My nipple is on Facebook.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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