im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
