I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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