this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize