come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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