you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
