Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
