just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
