she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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