The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
