As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize