dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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