we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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