Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
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I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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