I accidentally burped into my bong.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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