please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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