dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
