She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize