That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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