You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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