Sponge bath it is.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions