He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
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The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
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You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.