On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
