I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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