id be glad to
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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