Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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