Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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