Your face is a jimmy john
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He shit in the fireplace
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize