Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
