Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
