So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Girls should come with a carfax report
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
