He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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