she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize