All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize