i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
