if i can run in heels then i can drive
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
