Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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