So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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