Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
