Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
