Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
well you can't waste a boner
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
