One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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