i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize