he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
