so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
