What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
