i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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