Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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